Why Movies Suck In 2006*

So Da Vinci was a disappointment. X-Men 3 was good, but it had the potential to be great, and thus was an even worse disappointment. I mean, when Professor X died**, I was sorta sad I guess, but if Bryan Singer would have directed it, I could have been bawling. And Cyclops’ death was little more than a footnote! Do not fret, non-existent readership! I will save you from this year’s banal offerings and deliver you unto movie greatness in 2006! There are important, brilliant movies being made right now. I haven’t seen all of these yet, but I will. Walk with me.

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The War Tapes gets a 95% rating from Rotten Tomato. Its a documentary from actual US soldiers in Iraq.

Thank You For Smoking is one I missed unfortunately, but looked great and everyone I talked to who saw it loved it. Technically I think this one came out in 2005 internationally, but arrived stateside only in 2006.

Water is another one i missed. For that matter, I missed Fire and Earth, though I think the concept of naming her movies is a bit derivative, don’t you think? Everyone I have talked to has great things to say about this movie though.

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An Inconvenient Truth No matter what anyone says, I still wish Al Gore was president. He narrates this documentary about how completely fucked our environment is and how we are all going to be wondering if it is Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow (take your time, you’ll get there).

The Cult of the Suicide Bomber by terrorism expert Bob Baer explores the origins of suicide bombing, and the virus-like spread of its use as a tactic in guerilla warfare.

United 93 I really wanted to see this movie. The commercial gave me goosebumps. But I also was a little afraid. 9/11 was pretty scary for us in New York. Now I want to see it again. Apparently it was terrific.

Giuliani Time I want to see this movie right after United 93. Basically it is a Michael Moore-style trashing of Giuliani for his actions prior to, or other than, his response to 9/11, which was spectacular. I happen to think Giuliani kicked ass and took names. I think he brought down crime and cleaned up the city. Maybe this documentary will disabuse me of that theory. Who knows. I’ll keep an open mind.

* Yes, this is a reference to DJ Shadow, before you ask.

**I know some places warn you about spoilers, but if you haven’t seen X-Men 3 by now, you deserve to have it spoiled for you, and you probably won’t care that much anyway, since, after all, you’ve waited all this time to see the movie.

4 Responses to “Why Movies Suck In 2006*”


  • Amit,
    Don’t fret. Xavier is not really dead. If you stayed until the end of the credits (like any self-respecting french-indian in-the-closet comic book fan), you will have seen that he transferred his consciousness into that terminally ill patient in Scotland, who was in one of the first scenes of the movie. So there you go.

    Besides, he’s Professor X, and he don’t go out like that.

  • OB, of course I stayed past the credits! Good call though.

  • Fatmit,

    Cyclops only had one eye…how do you think that affected him in the bedroom? I mean, he did score the hottie, but was he cheating? Is what’s missing up top compensated for down below? Will you ever even read this?

  • The real question is, do ALL of his eyes shoot frickn laser beams????

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