Tag Archive for 'douchebags'

Douchebags aplenty!

I added a new Photography section, which you can access easily from the navigation bar at the top. It’s a little rough, but it gets the job done for now.

Nice weather in New York really brings the D-bags out of the woodwork. The following two examples are true stories of real NYC douchebags that I saw in the last few weeks:

If you are a fobby Indian in a Hummer H3 (which, by the way, is the official car of the douchebag) thumping the Panjabi MC/Jay-Z song from 2003 from your car stereo, then you are a DOUCHEBAG!

If you subject everyone around you in the subway to hiphop played from your tinny-sounding cellphone, then you are a DOUCHEBAG! Of course, your cellphone is “ruggedized,” because a gangsta lifestyle means your cellphone needs to be ready in case things get “heated.”

Virginia Is For Douchebags, part deux.

An unexpected second in my now multi-part series, Virginia is for Douchebags. For the first part, see right meow. Virginia hits a (perhaps unsurprising) new low:

WASHINGTON, Dec. 20  In a letter sent to hundreds of voters this month, Representative Virgil H. Goode Jr., Republican of Virginia, warned that the recent election of the first Muslim to Congress posed a serious threat to the nation’s traditional values.

Mr. Goode was referring to Keith Ellison, the Minnesota Democrat and criminal defense lawyer who converted to Islam as a college student and was elected to the House in November. Mr. Ellison’s plan to use the Koran during his private swearing-in ceremony in January had outraged some Virginia voters, prompting Mr. Goode to issue a written response to them, a spokesman for Mr. Goode said.

In his letter, which was dated Dec. 5, Mr. Goode said that Americans needed to “wake up” or else there would “likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran.”

“I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped,” said Mr. Goode, who vowed to use the Bible when taking his own oath of office.

21koran.jpgHere is a link to the article. Wow. Seriously? Here is a pic. One guess as to who is Virgil H. Goode, Junior, and who is Keith Ellison. Anyway, after the George Allen incident, I would have thought that Virginia had learned its lesson about opening its fat piehole. You see, this tells the rest of America that people from Virginia are stupid and bigoted. “But one bigot doesn’t represent the whole state of Virginia! Waaaah!”

Oh, but he does. You see, Goode is not some hobo wearing feathers and screaming at your pet on the street. He is Virginia’s representative. In case you don’t know what that means, say hello to my little friend, Merriam Webster:

Main Entry: 2representative
Function: noun
1 : one that represents another or others: as a (1) : one that represents a constituency as a member of a legislative body (2) : a member of the house of representatives of the United States Congress or a state legislature b : one that represents another as agent, deputy, substitute, or delegate usually being invested with the authority of the principal c : one that represents a business organization d : one that represents another as successor or heir.

This man represents Virginia! Therefore, I shall continue to impute his actions to the majority of Virginians, until (1) Merriam or Webster (I don’t care which) changes the definition of representative, or (2) Virginia votes for the other guy. Until then, George Allen, Virgil Goode, and all Virginians win my Douchebag award. Here you go!

Douchebag

Big Jerks: Andy Dick apologizes for using slur

Yahoo News Link.

I’m not upset that he used the slur, or even that he apologized for it. I just wished the apology would have gone further. I wished Andy Dick would have apologized instead for being such an unfunny comedian.

Every famous comedian “got their big break,” usually doing standup. Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Jamie Foxx, Carlos Mencia, Leno, Chris Rock, Cedric, the list goes on and on. Then they get to rest on their laurels, making bank on movies like Daddy Day Care. When was Andy Dick ever funny? Hrrrrrm? That’s right, never.

He has never, ever, ever (ever ever?) been funny. He wasn’t even funny in Old School. Sure the scene is funny, but watch it again. Its Ferrell that makes that scene, not Dick.

The short of it is that Andy Dick is the most overrated comedian of all time. Andy Dick is the Beck of comedy. Why this B-lister is famous for anything but sucking at his job is completely beyond me.

Ann Coulter vs. Hitler

It’s no secret that Ann Coulter sucks bigtime. Well, someone put together a list of quotes and you guess who said it, either Adolf Hitler or Ann Coulter. I got 9 of 14 correct. See if you can beat me!

Ann Coulter vs. Hitler Quiz