And it is glorious.

Feast your eyes on this:

A buddy and I just went out to lunch and had this, the king of all sandwiches.  He found it randomly by surfing Midtown Lunch, a website subscribe to but clearly I have been underutilizing it, since I hadn’t heard of this place before.

Midtown Lunch calls this sandwich from Free Foods a triumph, and they are right on.  The sandwich isn’t even on the overhead menu, you have to ask for it, and I would have never known to were it not for ML.  Anyway, the sandwich is awesome.  Tender, juicy duck, swiss cheese, russian dressing, and is that tiny bits of orange?  A genius made this sandwich.  A goddamn genius.  A mother#$@#, lyrical wordsmith, mother @#!$@ genius.

Went to an Au Revoir Simone concert this past week. Was really great – I think I am in love with one of the girls in the band. There are three girls – she’s the one who is always in the middle for some reason in pictures and on stage. Check out the website, you will love their sound.

Two weeks ago, I went to two weddings in one day, one for a friend and one for a cousin. The wedding of my friend was awesome. It was small and intimate, excellently planned, and TONS of fun. Each guest had a picture of them with the bride and groom, and a thoughtfully planned seat assignment. I initiated the chair lift, like a good long island Indian from a predominantly Jewish area. The band was AMAZING. If you’ve never seen three old white people play Sean Paul, you should. I was shocked by how good they were. Everyone was young and we all had an awesome time.

The second wedding was an unmitigated disaster. The kid isn’t really a cousin by blood, my aunt married a widower with two kids. The daughter is a spoiled brat who has unfortunately been allowed to breed her own little spoiled brat. The boy is actually a nice guy. Their father is an uncouth troglodyte. anyway, it was horribly planned. There were almost no attractive people there. The wedding was on a SUNDAY NIGHT starting at 7:30 with a 2 1/2 hour cocktail hour. It was ridiculous. Then, they herd everyone out of the cocktail reception area to a hallway outside the main reception hall. Everyone is standing around for more than twenty minutes, but they won’t open the goddamned doors. What kind of shit planning is that? What is the obscene excuse for having your guests wait outside like that? Anyway, once we finally got in, we quickly realized that there were no assigned tables. Guess they weren’t delaying to set up the seats. What kind of wedding doesn’t have assigned tables? We sat down at a table only to have some bitch from the bride’s side ask us to get up so THEIR friends and family could sit down. At ten goddamned thirty. I was like, well, “you jobless retards may not have shit to do, but I have to go to WORK tomorrow.” Disgusted with the boorish manners of the guests, turned off by the poor planning, I decided to skip the cheesy family introductions and the entire dinner. I never even saw the bride and groom (they weren’t at the cocktail reception). My parents stayed and told me later that they STARTED serving dinner at 11:30. The whole wedding was selfish and rude to the guests. I’m just glad I escaped when I did.

What a study in contrasts.

Have been to a few restaurants that deserve mention:

Toloache: Food was meh. Constantly getting upsold by the waiter was annoying.

Blue Hill: Amazing. Highly recommended.

Babbo: I love this place. Try to go as much as you can. This time, we had the tasting menu, and some amazing wines.

Thanks to Restaurant Week, I’ve been going to a bunch of great restaurants for only 25 (lunch) or 35 dollars (dinner). The other night we went to 66, which is Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s take on Chinese food. Overall, I recommend it. Here’s what we got:

Appetizers:
Tuna Tartare with Chinese Celery, Crispy Lotus Root & Soy Tapioca. The thing that really set this apart from every other tuna tartare in the city was the use of the mini tapioca pearls cured in soy sauce. I thought that was a very creative alternative to including soy sauce in a dish on the side like so many other Japanese restaurants do.

Lacquered Pork Belly, Shallot & Ginger Confit. Amazing. It wasn’t on the prix-fixe menu but we ordered it anyway, and we were glad we did. It was possibly the most tender pork I have ever had, and the crystallized or fried ginger on top made the dish. A must-try.

Entrees:
Chili Prawns with Lily Bulb & Sweet Walnuts. Pretty good. Medium sized portions – not too small, but not quite big, either. Though the waiters took their sweet time bringing it after the entrees had already been served, it came with fried rice.

Overall: I think its pretty good, if you can schlep all the way out to Tribeca!

Cool–>< —Douche

SATURDAY NIGHT IRON CHEF BATTLE
Flay Battles
Morimoto at “Women in Wine” at the Borgata AC
Female vintners around the country pour out lots of vino, and Flay and go head to head in the ultimate chef’s smackdown.
411: Nov 11, Women in Wine, Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, Atlantic City, NJ, for tickets click here or call 866-900-4849

Also, last night I finally saw “Thank You For Smoking.” I thought it was great! It had some slow moments, and it was a bit exaggerated, but it was overall very good. Thumbs up.

In sports: Mets clinched, Yankees lost, and my Wolverines are 6-0 and have moved up to the number 4 spot in the country. Sweet.

In food, I checked out the new Max Brenner that’s opened up on 14th and Broadway. The food was EXCELLENT! However, the service was awful. Our waittress was testy and obnoxious, and when she screwed up an order and it was obviously her fault, she tried (but ultimately failed) to place the blame on one of us. When my friend cancelled his original order to order something else, she instead accidentally cancelled another friend’s order. Instead of owning up to it and letting it go, however, she tried to say it was our fault. Also, only one of us had been there before, and he mentioned that every time the wait staff takes newbie orders, they tell the “Max Brenner” story. Well, we never found out what that was, because she had no idea what we were talking about. Apparently she was the only waittress that didn’t know the history of the franchise, and she was rude about her ignorance. My friend said that every single time he has been there in the past the waiter has told the story. Ah well. Missing forks from the table, inadequate water replenishment, and ‘back sass’ all contributed to her sub-10% tip. She was lucky to get anything at all. We will definitely go back again, and will make a point to avoid that waittress, if she is still employed when we return.

In clubbin’: Went to Aer, Park, and Earth. They’re all right by each other so why not? Also went to Serena, and 230 Fifth. Good times at all of those joints.

In movies: I saw two Lisa Ray films in one weekend, having never seen her before in my life. The first was Quarterlife Crisis. This movie was, in a word, awful. The characters were pallid and one-dimensional, the plot vehicles were hackneyed and obvious, and none of the jokes came off well, if it was in fact a comedy, which I am not convinced about. Maybe a tragi-comedy. They even had the gall to steal an entire scene (the speed dating scene) from 40 Year Old Virgin. Finally, every shot of New York was a cutaway to Times Square. When they are driving in a taxi, Times Square. A second drive through the city to pick up a random girl, Times Square. Random cutaway shots of the city interspersed through the film? You guessed it, Times Square again. Enough already! We get that the movie was filmed in New York. To say that the director was no Michael Mann would be an understatement.

The second was Water [SPOILERS]. In an earlier post, I mentioned wanting to see this movie. Well, I finally saw it. The movie was just short of great. One of the things I liked most about the movie was what it didn’t show. I agreed with the director that the prostitution and child molestation that occurs in the movie did not need to be seen to be felt. I thought not showing these horrific scenes made these events in the movie even more haunting than if they had shown them, and I thought a lesser director would have pandered to the shock value. Kudos to Deepa Mehta on that point. That said, there were some flaws. The relationship between the Kalyani and Narayan was wooden and not credible, and I think that the actors were a bit weak. Perhaps Ray, a model (and a beautiful one at that), has spent too much time appearing emotionless on the runway, and she fails to switch gears for this film. I have heard that her diction was poor too, though I am not a good judge. That John Abraham‘s character Narayan doesn’t shed a tear for his fiance upon her death was another example of either character or actor weakness. In the end, I thought the film did not live up to its potential, but I did think it was a near-great film, and would still recommend it.

I also saw Infernal Affairs, upon which the recent film The Departed is based. This film is EXCELLENT. A definite must-see. At first I wasn’t buying it, but it definitely got more believable as the movie went on. Andy Lau is excellent, as is Tony Leung. I heard from friends that The Departed didn’t deliver, but I plan to see it anyway just to compare.

In other news: I went to the Guitar Center this Sunday, and it was as my friend put it, the most fun I’ve ever had on a Sunday EVER! I was just going along with a friend who wanted to buy a keyboard, ended up buying some replacement guitar strings (which I broke already when restringing, UGH!) and playing around with the instruments. But what really had us going for 2 hours of non-stop fun were the keyboards with the built in synths. We started playing them, and were AMAZED at how easy it is to make music with them! All you have to do is play one note, and the keyboard incorporates tons of other instruments to make an entire song! We felt like Oakenfold afterwards. I KNEW Kanye and Pharrell weren’t as talented as they are trumpeted to be! The thing was so damn easy! Within thirty seconds we had already figured out how to play the Yung Joc song, “Meet me in the trap.” Needless to say, the sales staff was in love with us. They just love it when you mess around with their instruments. I think me and my boys are going to start a music production company. Tentative name: The Trap. That way when we go to the studio we can all say, “Meet me in the TRAP! ITS GOIN’ DOWN!” Sweet. It’ll go great with my fake band, the World’s Fattest Twins.

Appetizers:
Warm Garlic Sausage With Lentil Bean Salad. Very, very good.
Mini-cheese Ravioli In a Light Chicken Broth With Mushroom and Cilantro. This was flat out excellent. The broth was savory and I wanted more when it was gone.
I should mention that the table bread was impressive. It came out hot, with a thin hard crust on the outside, and delicate and flaky on the inside. It seemed to melt in your mouth.

Entrees:
Fresh Flounder Sauteed Meuniere With Lemon Emulsion. Standard, though delicious. Served simply and elegantly with assorted vegetables which were prepared expertly. The fish was delicate and moist.
Pan-Seared Atlantic Salmon With Steamed Spinach & Whole Grain Mustard Sauce. Highly recommended.

Dessert:
Pear Sorbet. I had to be good. It was definitely tasty, though not decadent like the other dessert offered.
Brownie with Ice Cream. This was one of the richest brownies I’ve ever tasted. You could taste the sin. Totally worth it though.

The damage? about 50 bucks, making it one of the best deals in the city right now. The service was par excellence. I never saw my glass empty, we weren’t rushed, and they were quick to respond to any of our requests. Their service was just plain flawless. I would definitely recommend this restaurant to anyone, Restaurant Week or otherwise.

What we had:
Table Bread – average to subpar. Someone should tell these people that Land O’Lakes is not French. Ho hum.
Shrimp Cocktail – scant portions (what is it with restaurants and the three shrimp maximum?). For 14 bucks, 3 shrimp is a rip-off for lunch. Tastewise, it was nothing worth writing home about. The cocktail sauce was on the side. The presentation was cool (sitting on a globe of ice) but not worth it.
Tuna tartare – generous portions. Also good presentation.
The French Onion Soup looked good but I didn’t try it. It’s a bit tough to share soup, you know.
Lamb Sandwich. Pretty good. Generous portions, the lamb was tender and cooked just right (not well done), and it was very flavorful. However, the bread was far too thick and crusty. They should be using a thinner, more delicate bread. Haven’t they learned by now that no one wants huge bread on their sandwiches? Especially for a meat as delicate as lamb, their hard, thick, crusty loaves were not doing the trick.
Kobe Burger – A disappointment. Though medium on the inside (as instructed), it was charcoal on the outside. It looked like it caused cancer.
Another colleague got the Steak Sandwich and said it was good. I think that one came with thinner bread. God knows the justification for thick bread on lamb, thin on steak.

I must point out that the service was ATROCIOUS. We waited for our appetizers for a decent amount, but then we waited more than twenty (20) minutes for our entrees after they had cleared our appetizer plates! Our glasses were never refilled, and after we had finished our meal, we waited another (!) twenty minutes before we gave up and started hailing waiters to come give us the check. The original waiter who served us for the first half of our meal disappeared without warning. I left a scant tip (9%), because I beleive you should reward great service and punish bad service. I get that BR is new and maybe they are still working out the kinks, but I went to Morimoto opening week and their service was flawless. It wasn’t particularly busy either. We spent TWO hours on a lunch that could have taken half the time, and that is without dessert, which we gave up on after realizing we’d probably be getting melted ice cream since they took so long to get us everything.

Total bill? $170 for four people, or about 42.50 for appetizers, entrees, and a couple of iced teas, and no dessert.

Bottom line? Not worth the trouble. There are far too many good French restaurants in Midtown to be wasting your time here. I’ll be letting Zagat know too.