Tag Archive for 'funny'

Watch For Ice!!!

This pic cracked me up today.
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Clever

I thought this was pretty hilarious.

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The greatest thing I ever read.

Elegant in its simplicity. Brutal and unassailable in its logic. I am talking of, of course, about the Ladder Theory. The Ladder Theory is, in the author’s own words, a “theory of adult male/female interaction,” first conceptualized in 1994 in Exeter, California.

It is flawlessly accurate. I encourage you to read through to the end, especially the discussion of “ladder theorists” in “Consequences of the Ladder” and also “Answers to Common Criticisms.” Upon reading Ladder Theory, I immediately became a disciple. Hopefully, with enough study, I can aspire to “ladder theorist.” Go read it for yourself and post your thoughts here. Also, while you’re at it, check out his Beethoven Theory as well.

Dharma

I am a big believer in peaks and valleys. Sometimes my arc is rising, sometimes it’s falling. It is sort of like in Swingers how when one guy is riding high, the other guy is in the dumps. When Jon Favraeu’s character finally comes around, its Vince Vaughn who is eating shit. And just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. Life is never too busy to give you that last extra kick in the nuts.

And I mean that literally. As in my right ball hurts. I think it might be my Aeron chair and its lack of support in the crotchal region. Some might say, “Ewwww! Too much information!” To those people, I say a hearty “Fuck you.” What the fuck are you doing reading the obsessive rants of a prick so self involved he has his own blog anyway? Either love me, or leave me alone.

I also mean it figuratively. The fact of the matter is, everyone lets you down in the end. Including, without limitation, everyone you love, and everyone that loves you, even if those groups aren’t mutually exclusive (and they never are). Lawyers: sorry for that last bit about without limitation. I couldn’t resist. Only fucking lawyers talk like that.

Anywho, the only thing that cheered me up today was HBO’s The Flight of the Conchords. It is the funniest goddamned show I have seen in years. Even after I emptied my bladder I had to tie my cock in a knot just to keep from pissing myself with laughter. You can watch the first episode at HBO, here. The whole thing is brilliant, and though my favorite part is the first song, another scene made me laugh just as hard at myself:

“It’s just that I think she might be the one.”

“Sally?”

“Yah.”

“What makes you think that?”

“You just know. When it happens to you, you’ll know.”

“You said Michelle was the one.”

“Yah, she’s the one.”

“You said Claire was the one.”

“Yah, she’s another one.”

“So you get more than one one.”

“Some people are lucky, I’ve had a few ones.”

Anyway I’m out. Choke on my fucking brilliance.

Sweep the Leg!

So the site went down for a while. My host said that I was using too much memory. But I think it was a corrupted database or template. In any event, I recently saw something cracked me up – a music video with all the old characters from the Karate Kid. The music is meh but the video is great!

Horsepounded

So the other day I wrote about my experience on the set of the Colbert Report. Well, the Digg community picked up on it, and tore my site a new one. The site was temporarily suspended within two hours of being popular on Digg. When it was restored 9 hours later. ANYWAY, I learned a few things, namely how to use WP-Cache to cache your pages so it doesn’t cause so much server load. My hosts, Addaction.net did a great job of getting me back online. I don’t know exactly what they did, but it worked. So thanks to them. Also, I rolled out the latest version of WordPress and K2. For some reason, my site still looks like crap on Internet Explorer. So until I can figure out how to fix it, I recommend that you get Firefox.

Update: I had no idea that a second post on my website had also gotten digged. Well it didn’t take long for the internet police to shut down my site again. I don’t think my webhost was able to handle the server load, so i switched to Dreamhost. Let’s see how long that lasts. Two big diggs in two days was more than my poor site could handle! Hopefully my new host will be more robust. So far their customer service has been decent. I will keep you posted.