Tag Archive for 'subway'

A modern day hero.

Every once in a long while, something happens in New York that restores your faith in humanity:

Who has ridden along New York’s 656 miles of subway lines and not wondered: “What if I fell to the tracks as a train came in? What would I do?” And who has not thought: “What if someone else fell? Would I jump to the rescue?”

Mr. Autrey was waiting for the downtown local at 137th Street and Broadway in Manhattan around 12:45 p.m. He was taking his two daughters, Syshe, 4, and Shuqui, 6, home before work.

Nearby, a man collapsed, his body convulsing. Mr. Autrey and two women rushed to help, he said. The man, Cameron Hollopeter, 20, managed to get up, but then stumbled to the platform edge and fell to the tracks, between the two rails.

The headlights of the No. 1 train appeared. “I had to make a split decision,” Mr. Autrey said.

So he made one, and leapt.

Mr. Autrey lay on Mr. Hollopeter, his heart pounding, pressing him down in a space roughly a foot deep. The train’s brakes screeched, but it could not stop in time.

Five cars rolled overhead before the train stopped, the cars passing inches from his head, smudging his blue knit cap with grease. Mr. Autrey heard onlookers’ screams. “We’re O.K. down here,” he yelled, “but I’ve got two daughters up there. Let them know their father’s O.K.” He heard cries of wonder, and applause.

Full story here (registration required)

Rules of NYC Sidewalks

1. If you are not making the way, you are in the way.

2. Do not have children. Do not bring them outdoors to slow everybody down. If through some horrible accident you are unlucky enough to have two young children, for the love of God, do NOT buy one of those goddamn double-wide strollers. You’d be better off picking the one you love the most and giving the other one to charity or something.

3. No holding hands in the streets, unless its to create a two-person wide swath for ME. Your PDA is obnoxious enough without me getting clotheslined by it. This rule is waived on Saturday and Sunday afternoons only.

4. Please put your gigantic bags on your right side. If you are on Broadway between 26th and 30th Streets, please put your gigantic garbage bags on your right side.

5. If you are about to go down the stairs to the subway, and you see 1,000 people trying to get upstairs all at once, newsflash! – you missed the train. Kindly wait at the top of the stairs off to the side and let everyone out. It will make your life and their lives easier, and you weren’t going to make that train anyway.

6. Baby strollers are not cow catchers. Stop using your kids as human shields.

7. Size matters. As in, if I am bigger than you, get out of the way. That includes your puny arms, and your gigantic bags. If you are bigger than me, I will get out of your way.

8. The blinking hand means “move faster”, not “stop at the curb and block the path to freedom.”

9. If you are going to come up from my left, cut me off and then take a right, you better damn well make sure that you are moving fast enough, because otherwise I am going to stomp right on your heels.

10. When the little man in white lights up, that means to all you douchebags in your SUV’s trying to make right turns: YIELD. That’s right bitch.

11. Go with the flow. You are not a North Atlantic King Salmon, so stop ruining it for everyone by trying to swim upstream.

12. Walk on the right hand side of the sidewalk. Anything less would be communist. Even within the right hand side, there should be two speeds. Midwestern tourists and cows on the far right. Enjoying the view? That’s precious. Get the fuck on the right side. Walking at a normal pace? Congratulations, you can use the left hand side of the right. Allow me to demonstrate with this handy diagram:

That’s pretty much it! If you have any better ideas, let me know.