Tag Archive for 'television'


I am a big believer in peaks and valleys. Sometimes my arc is rising, sometimes it’s falling. It is sort of like in Swingers how when one guy is riding high, the other guy is in the dumps. When Jon Favraeu’s character finally comes around, its Vince Vaughn who is eating shit. And just when you think it can’t get worse, it does. Life is never too busy to give you that last extra kick in the nuts.

And I mean that literally. As in my right ball hurts. I think it might be my Aeron chair and its lack of support in the crotchal region. Some might say, “Ewwww! Too much information!” To those people, I say a hearty “Fuck you.” What the fuck are you doing reading the obsessive rants of a prick so self involved he has his own blog anyway? Either love me, or leave me alone.

I also mean it figuratively. The fact of the matter is, everyone lets you down in the end. Including, without limitation, everyone you love, and everyone that loves you, even if those groups aren’t mutually exclusive (and they never are). Lawyers: sorry for that last bit about without limitation. I couldn’t resist. Only fucking lawyers talk like that.

Anywho, the only thing that cheered me up today was HBO’s The Flight of the Conchords. It is the funniest goddamned show I have seen in years. Even after I emptied my bladder I had to tie my cock in a knot just to keep from pissing myself with laughter. You can watch the first episode at HBO, here. The whole thing is brilliant, and though my favorite part is the first song, another scene made me laugh just as hard at myself:

“It’s just that I think she might be the one.”



“What makes you think that?”

“You just know. When it happens to you, you’ll know.”

“You said Michelle was the one.”

“Yah, she’s the one.”

“You said Claire was the one.”

“Yah, she’s another one.”

“So you get more than one one.”

“Some people are lucky, I’ve had a few ones.”

Anyway I’m out. Choke on my fucking brilliance.

My Disappointment.

I’ve done everything I can. I’ve talked with friends, family, and loved ones. I’ve tried to give it one more shot, time and time again. I just can’t delude myself any longer. My faith has been shaken. But I’ve broken down and admitted it. Because no matter how hard I try to deny it, there’s no escaping the truth:

Scrubs sucks this year.

And I’m not the only one. Lots. Of. Other. People. Are. Asking. The. Same. Question. Also.

There are weak and boring plots in this sixth season of Scrubs, such as the Iraq war veteran that ends up a discourse on the morality of the war. To add insult to injury, Elliot kisses the vet with no apparent motivation. The show jumped the shark when they did a crappy musical including a forgettable number named “Everything Comes Down To Poo.” Even the music has been sucking lately, one of the high points of the show. There’s a terrible (and terribly rated) clip show, that most hackneyed of sitcom throwaways. The characters are no longer quirky and weird. You don’t see any of the physical gags you used to see on the show. It’s almost as if some NBC fatcat executive told Bill Lawrence that he should make the show “more like Grey’s Anatomy.”

Perhaps it has something to do with the rumor that Zach will not return for a seventh season. Some have speculated that the more talented writers or directors may not be involved with the show anymore, though I haven’t been able to substantiate that very easily.


No matter what the cause, it’s a heartbreak. Scrubs was my favorite show of all time. Now it is teetering on the edge of tivo-worthiness. I’ve already had to dump Family Guy and My Name is Earl. I hope things turn around for the show. Either Bill Lawrence needs to administer some swift kicks in the ass, or he needs one himself. Maybe he needs to go back on the sauce in order to write good copy. Or maybe he needs to get off of it – whatever he is doing with the sauce, he should do the opposite. Because Scrubs is hurtling towards obsolescence. And its a damn shame.

How I Met Your Mother And Other Shows

If you don’t watch it yet, you should. It’s hilarious. The last episode was all about how some girls have “crazy eyes,” which my buddy Dave and I used to talk about all the time in law school. As in, “stay away from her shes got the CRRRRRRRRAZY EYES!” (while shaking your jowls back and forth). Also, they had this thing about how nicknames for guys start. Brilliant. Go put it on your DVR, since you will never ordinarily find it (being as it is on CBS, which normally only geezers watch). Also, the Unit is great, and Friday Night Lights is awesome. I am in love with Layla! Screw Lost and their 3 month hiatus!

Colbert the Unflappable, Flapped

Back when Stephen Colbert was a correspondent on the Daily Show, there was one clip where he just loses his trademark deadpan visage. Watching Colbert and eventually Jon Stewart crack at the end was actually funnier than anything they were trying to do deadpan.

Seth MacFarlane Responds to South Park’s Complete Deconstruction of Family Guy

Just as I’ve added video functionality to this site comes another really great video. So, Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy, spoke at Harvard’s graduation. He starts off in his own voice, but then goes into Peter (hehe, he said Peter), Stewie, and Quagmire (giggity giggity). It’s all pretty funny stuff, but a little bittersweet since South Park completely destroyed Family Guy in the Cartoon Wars episodes. After Cartman kept exposing the flaws Family Guy for two whole episodes, the whole show became a little less funny for me. In any case, Seth (as Stewie) finally responds to Trey and Matt’s deconstruction of his show. Check out the video below, and scroll to minute 12:55 if you want to see the exact moment he is responding.

The Shows I Watch

May Sweeps is in full swing, and every show is pulling out all the stops to have spectuacular season-finale’s. However, in my opinion, May is a retarded month to have sweeps, because the weather is so nice these days. February sweeps would make a lot more sense to me.

In any case, there are a TON of shows that I watch on my DVR. (As you know, I do not watch TV in real time because that, my droogs, is for suckers). Just keeping up with all of these shows is practically a full time job:

My Name is Earl
Grey’s Anatomy
American Idol
How I Met Your Mother
Family Guy
South Park
Jon Stewart